My below post might be a bit unorganized, cluttered of random emotion, and snippets of passing thoughts...so just bear (or is it bare) with me. :-)
The part of Kelly's recent post that touched me was the following:
"... I now appreciate down time. Sitting and talking, or sitting in silence with someone. I appreciate “just being” and not feeling the need to “do” all the time. I appreciate simple things, simple life, and most of all I appreciate life. The fact that I am here, and that I can do, see, and be."
I am.
Just being. Not feeling the need "to do" all the time. I've heard repeatedly from Cory how I don't know how to relax. It's kind of true. It's kind of hard to admit. Kind of. I love to work. And I'm the typical Type A who has to always be doing something.
I really enjoyed our recent trip to visit Ashley and Reece. Ashley was worried that we'd be bored...you think she knows me? But I can say I thoroughly enjoyed doing nothing. I read a book. The whole thing. In just three days. Not a work biz book, but a fun book. We even went to a book exchange store to get more books...I forgot how much I love the smell of old books. aahhhh. We walked on the beach. All of us talked for hours. All together. Separate. Reece and Cory outside in the darkness, and Ashley and I in the kitchen. We laughed. I fell asleep leaning on Cory while we all were silently watching the Olympics. It was wondrous.
How easy it is to breathe. And yet that is exactly what we forget to do...just breathe. The most simplest of all things. Close your eyes and breathe. What do you smell? What do you see? What are you thinking? Where are you? Who are you?
Who am I? I am me. I love laughing. I love life. I love passion. I love Cory. I love life. I love my family. I love my friends.
I have made the decision this year to take more time for me. For Cory. For our lives together. For family. Not an easy feat for a admitted workaholic. I still need to work on this...daily... It's not easy for me. I'm a perfectionist...to a fault sometimes. But I realize it's also my blessing.
I can sit and work on images for hours on end. Why? I enjoy watching the expression that is caught in the moment jump off the page. Knowing that when my clients see their images, they will smile, laugh, and even cry. If only you'd see me as I prepare the slideshows for my clients...my friends...I cry and I smile. Remembering the moment...and feeling in the moment. I love what I do. I love my clients. And I love the friendships that we create together.
Kelly and I shared a few emails back and forth while she was gone and it reminded me of my time at Jesh de Rox's workshop. Check out this recent post by Jesh about "the world is a playground (life)" to get an introduction to this amazing photographer and friend.
From Jesh's post about playgrounds:
"it is not what we do that makes something work or play, exciting or boring, it is the degree to which we are experiencing what we are doing."
Life is a playground. If you want it to be. If you try. Funny as adults it takes more effort.
I've been debating all week about whether or not I should take a trip this weekend to visit my Dad in Arizona (while my mom is in southern CA caring for my grandma) and I've decided to go. Nicole spoke simple words "if he passed away today, you'd regret not going". Thanks Nicole. I love you for your bluntness. And sarcasm. And your friendship.
It means that work won't get done as quickly as I would like (sorry Erika!) but I'm remembering to just breathe and to appreciate life.
I encourage those that read this post to comment.
And with Life in mind...I want to share a few more images from last weekend's wedding of Erika and Justin. (and since their slideshow will be a bit delayed!)
A moment caught by Anne.
Don't you love that a total stranger had a smile brought to his face. Total randomness.
Cory caught this image of Erika, Justin, Lulu, and Bentley!
Tina's perspective.
This last one I captured. Caught in the moment.
7 comments:
I would apologize for my bluntness but people don't come to me for "sugar coating", they come to me for honesty. (Occasionally it's a flaw, so I'm grateful when it's helpful.) I'm glad you want to take more time for yourself and are so aware that you're willing to share it! Have a wonderful time and appreciate every moment. Enjoy a great book on the plane and your intimate time with Dad. See you next week!
I know I will enjoy my time away. But nevertheless, I'm not taking a book...I'm taking my laptop to work on Erika's wedding. :-)
I am glad to hear you say/do this. You are the hardest working woman I know. And as a fellow Type A I know how it can be difficult to slow down and let it go. Enjoy your time with your Dad!
PS Way to go NJ!
What a beautiful post. I have found people in this business, perhaps any business, tend to live for it rather than trying to be whole balanced people. What do we want to look back at when we come to the end of our lives? Though we love our brides and some go on to stay in our lives, it will be our family and friends by our bed sides tending to us. So we need to make sure we take time to tend to them in the midst of this crazy wedding world!
Your post made me love you more! Thanks for sharing a little more of yourself with us all.
Martha
Jennifer~
I am very happy to hear that after deliberations you decided to go see your dad. Take it from someone that made the wrond decision 3 years ago, you are making the right one. I should have raken that opportunity, I didn't, and then it ws too late. Go, have a wonderful time with your dad. Enjoy every second. I wish I would have.
And congrats on laying it all out there for everyone to see.
Jen, I just LOVE you! Seriously. Your post is so...inspirational. And in more ways than one. It makes me want to work on your team! And, your advice to slow down and just live life is some that I can use as well...as can everyone, I'm sure. Justin also tells me that I don't relax enough because I'm always on the go - doing things for us, other people. Whatever it might be, it takes away from the "me" and "us" time that I/we need. As do YOU! :) I'm not worried about our delayed slideshow one bit. In fact, I'm telling you, not just as a client, but as your new friend, to leave your laptop home and take a book instead. That's an order! You can work on our slideshow when you get back, next week, after our honeymoon - I don't care! Quality time with your dad is what you're going for. Not for work. Take the weekend off and just be...you. Thank you for your kindness, drive, passion. You're incredible at what you do and I'm so fortunate to have met you. Cheers to a fabulous weekend OFF! Seriously - do NOT work on our wedding! Please. ;)
Hi Jen....I've been a lurker on your blog for quite sometime now. I love your photos, your style, and seeing the relationships you from with your clients. Hopefully someday I will be one of them! =) Anyway, the reason I am finally commenting is because your post struck me. I am exactly like you in that I am a workaholic and often forget to stop and enjoy the moment and life. I need to do that more often....thanks for reminding!
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